Yard Sale Report for 04/14/12 Including The Sex Toy Story

Murphy ready for Action!

The Yard Sale Gods cooperated nicely this last weekend and the weather was nearly perfect for an exuberance of stuff. The season is still young and looking for sales is a little bit like walking in the garden and looking for new shoots, there are plenty to go around, but the ground is not yet carpeted, later in the season, there will be so many yard sales that I’ll trip over them as I go down my list. My preferred Yard Sale Companions were not available for the trip, so I took Murphy the Half Blind Devil Dog, as always, he supplied solid company, as well as ample cuteness to aid in bargaining. At one yard sale, he was given an enormous dog biscuit that he carried in his mouth for the next several stops. It was so big, that I think he was not sure exactly what it was, and I finally had to break a little piece off so that he got the idea and could finish it off himself.

The woman who gave it to him had lost her Lab, Husky mix last summer and was honoring all her canine customers with the last of his biscuits. I don’t think I bought anything there, but I left with a good feeling and Murphy left with a biscuit. Not too bad.

Yard Sailing went well and the nice weather had people in a good and talkative mood. The most interesting person of the day was a young woman wearing a traditional Muslim Hijab, which somehow seemed new and a little out of place. She was young and slender with startling blue eyes and I couldn’t help wondering what her story was. Coupled with the house, which was a little run down and the jumble of yard sale stuff in the front yard, I immediately thought that something interesting was afoot.

Then I noticed a hand written sign on the front porch that said… “Adult Toys Inside, Ask for prices.” This, it seemed to me was the opening I was looking for to get more of the story… “What kind of toys are we talking about?” I said. I was not really interested in someone’s adult sex toys, but curiosity is a great temptation. I also thought perhaps I was misreading it, maybe she meant, like, you know, motorcycles, or rifles or something. I mean, the sign just did not really compute.

2 leather floggers, Vampire Gloves,
Strap-on, plastic paddle, pump things...

So she replies brightly, “Come inside and take a look.” And sure enough the living room has a sizable collection of sexually related items. There is a whole table devoted to cheap Halloween type costumes… Nurses, Cheerleaders, Nuns, colored wigs, that kind of stuff. The other table has an array of bondage stuff. There are two handmade leather floggers, two suction pumps that I don’t have a clue as to their use, a pair of leather gloves with little spikes on the palm and fingers, a strap-on harness, and a plastic paddle, as well as something I cannot identify.

So I look at this innocent appearing young woman wearing a traditional Muslim headdress and I say… “Okay, there’s a story here.” And without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that she used to be a professional dominatrix and since she has converted to Islam, she is selling her collection of sex toys. Since she seems willing to talk, I ask her about her previous life and she tells me her name was Mistress Molly and she charged $500 per half hour for bondage sessions.
$500! I am floored! So I ask her what she’s going to do for a living now and she says she’s looking for work and I think, boy, is she in for a rude awakening!

It seems that she was a stripper at some local strip club, which is where she found her clients until she discovered the truth of the world and converted. She explains that she researched it on the Internet and finally discovered that Islam was true, unlike her previous beliefs. She told me that the bondage sessions were fulfilling in the moment, but afterwards she felt empty, and now that she has found Islam, She feels fulfilled all the time.

I asked her if she had stumbled on this truth all by herself and she said, Well, there was someone who had pointed her in the right direction, but she had found the full truth by herself. Later, when pressed, she admitted that this person was kind of her boyfriend now. When I asked her what her long term plans were, she replied… “Get married and have babies.”

During this conversation I noticed her housemate off to the side seemingly ignoring us, and busily texting someone on her phone. When there was a break in the conversation I asked her how she felt about this conversion and she said she had no opinion and didn’t really know much about it since it was so recent… “How recent?” I asked. Mistress Molly answered, “About a month. I just got, what you call in your religion, confirmed, yesterday.”

She wanted $75 each for the leather floggers, which seemed high to me for used sex toys, but then I am no expert in the field. I did notice though, that during our conversation quite a few middle-aged women wandered in and examined the items, apparently with some familiarity and with not a shred of surprise. An element of Yard Sailing that I had never given much thought to.

Evidently Islam, like Christianity in its best form, confers absolution. I had no idea. According to Mistress Molly conversion to Islam destroys all sins that came before it. All in all, one of the most interesting conversations I have had at a yard sale in years, and exactly why I go out. I don’t judge and I wish Mistress Molly the very best in her new life, babies and all, but I do admit to being very curious as to how it all works out. She likes the new respect that men give her with her newly ironed Hijab and feels like she never wants to take it off. I hope she made enough money at her yard sale to pay her rent until she can find a new job.

Bag-o-bottlecaps .25

So the rest of the weekend’s yard sales were fun as well, if not as intriguing. I found a new knife sharpening client just down the block from Mistress Molly who had a wonderful house all filled with art and a fun garden with tons of interesting plants. I got a bag of bottle caps for Day of the Dead art projects for 25 cents. One of the ladies there had these fun earrings that sparked my imagination.

I found a solid steel amperset (@) cut out of one piece of metal for $1, it weighs about 30 pounds. I’m not sure what it was made for, but I

Clear shot of the amperset…

thought it would look nice some where in the Tea House. You know, “Meet me at (@) the Tea House.”

Other interesting treasures were a Theracane for $1, which is used to do back massage on oneself and a heavy brass Ganesh for $2. I got to tell the seller the story of Ganesh and how he ended up with an elephant head. I found a nice and sturdy bench for the back garden for $2, an interesting faux urn thing that will also live in the garden somewhere for $1, a set of Litter-o-Kitties Christmas lights for $2 in honor of our new kittens, a complete set of Mac Lucite speakers for $20 that I think are a wonder of modern design, and a very cool skeleton mouse pad for $1 that I am giving to my wife… For $5 I got a heavy-duty tabletop vise and for $20 I got a faux tiger skin chair for my knife sharpening van, I couldn’t resist.

The weather was great, the people were fun and in general. The Yard Sale Season has arrived. The current forecast is calling for a nice weekend and I plan to be on the road again early Saturday morning. Drop on by for the new report when it is out and if you’re out Yard Sailing, keep an eye out for me and say hi.

Ganesh at home
Garden Vase/urn thing
Bottle cap earring, Not for sale
Litter-O-Kitties for $2. 
Theracane for $1 and Tiger Chair for $20
Skeleton Mouse pad, Notice the skeleton mouse…
Tabletop Vise $5.
Mac Lucite speakers for $20
Garden Bech for $2.
The Theracane… Actually feels pretty great!

Amperset for $1. @ the Yard Sale

And of course the most important find of the day!

3 Responses to “Yard Sale Report for 04/14/12 Including The Sex Toy Story”
  1. W. R. Woolf says:

    wow, interesting 🙂
    But if “Mistress Molly” used to make $500 per half hour, she must have some sort of savings account somewhere?

  2. cherie says:

    ALLAH BE PRAISED or Alhumdulilah! If you are a moslem and wanna sell that ganesh? Ya cant have too many heathen idols.

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